Many of the men who write to me have never been with a trans woman. They have been curious for a long time, sometimes for years, and they are also a little nervous. I find that very touching, and it is one of my favourite things to take care of.
The questions men ask me
- What if I don't know what to do? You don't need to. I will guide you, and we will talk before anything happens.
- What if I don't like something? Then we stop, and we do something else. Nothing is ever expected of you.
- What if I feel shy? Most men do at the start. That is why every date with me begins with conversation, a drink, time to relax and laugh.
- What if I discover I love it more than I expected? That happens a lot, and it is beautiful.
Step by step
A first time is not a performance and there is no programme. We start where you feel comfortable, often simply kissing, touching, discovering each other. If you want to go further, we go further. If you want to stay there, we stay there. You set the pace, and you can change your mind at any moment.
Only what you enjoy
My rule is simple: we only do what both of us enjoy. In my room there is curiosity, tenderness and a lot of care.
After
Afterwards we stay together, we talk, and you can ask me anything. Many men tell me the conversation after their first time mattered as much as everything before it.
Something to try
- Write down three things you are curious about, and one thing you know you do not want. Just knowing your yes and your no is already a beautiful first step.
- Read: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. A warm, science-based book about how desire really works, and why feeling safe makes pleasure bigger.
- Ask yourself: what would make you feel completely at ease with me in the first ten minutes?