It is one of the first questions men ask a trans woman, often a little shyly: are you passive or active? It is a perfectly fair question, and I love clarity, so here is my answer.
What the words mean
In simple terms, a passive partner is the one who receives, and an active partner is the one who takes the lead and gives. Trans women differ, just like everybody else. Some prefer one role, some enjoy both, and each of us knows what makes us feel most like ourselves.
Where I stand
I am entirely passive. It is not a rule I follow, it is who I am in bed: gentle by nature and submissive by delight. I love to be desired, guided, held and taken. That is where I feel most feminine, and where I give the most.
If you are looking for something else
If you are looking for an active trans woman, that is completely valid, and there are wonderful women who love that role. I would rather tell you clearly than disappoint you. The best evenings happen when both people get exactly what they came for.
What I offer you
With me you will find a woman who loves to be your woman: soft, sensual, responsive, and entirely yours for the evening. If that is what you have been dreaming of, we are going to get along beautifully 馃グ
Something to try
- Write your favourite fantasy in three sentences: where you are, what you do, how I respond. Keep it, or send it to me in your private profile.
- Read: Tell Me What You Want by Justin Lehmiller. A researcher asked thousands of people about their sexual fantasies. It is fascinating, and very reassuring.
- Ask yourself: do you love to lead, to be led, or to switch? When do you feel most like yourself in bed?